My encouragement to you is to be ruthlessly honest with yourself about whether or not you are dating or chasing. The Choosing Me Before We 40-days to creating the most loving and happiest relationships – starting with the one with you – starts TODAY.

You have a huge heart with so much love to give and if someone isn’t “choosing” you, why do you keep choosing him/her?!?!?

Take back your power and pursue a relationship with wooing but not chasing. Most importantly, choose to honor and respect yourself first.

Now back to my friend’s point of being able to convince someone that doesn’t want a commitment to commit to you.

As great as the “person with a lot of options” type may seem, if they do not value commitment and you do, then is the person really that great?

If you choose the latter, then you are entering into what I call relationship gaming.

It starts when we start to ignore our top values and our ego comes in and says, “I want what I want and I’m going after it.” You then start thinking of ways to manipulate, convince and strategize your actions to get what you want.

And when you do “get” them, you may not even want them because you’re probably more in love with the fantasy than the actual person.

Furthermore, don’t you want the experience of choosing AND being chosen?

If you truly value commitment, why are you going after someone who doesn’t? As much as you say you want someone to be in a loving, intimate and committed relationship with you, part of you may not think it’s possible.

Maybe you’ve been hurt in the past by a committed relationship and unconsciously you are putting effort into a relationship that will never become committed as a way to protect yourself.

I also challenge you to be honest about how much you truly value commitment.